


purple

by thiccheart



Category: TREASURE (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, flowers have huge symbolism in this, i put the meanings for the flowers in the notes though, kinda unrequited love, lowercase intended, this made me cry uh, youll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27220198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiccheart/pseuds/thiccheart
Summary: "purple was a comforting color,"
Relationships: Bang Yedam/Kim Doyoung
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41





	purple

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roseyong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseyong/gifts).



> happy birthday to you!!!!!!!!!!! this is my friends birthday fic, i hope you enjoy it !!!!!  
> happy (vv early) birthday :D
> 
> heliotrope -- neverending love  
> aster -- symbol of love  
> (source/credit ^^ https://www.almanac.com/content/flower-meanings-language-flowers)
> 
> !! this is a work of pure fiction and i am not saying by any means that this is nonfiction and this is how the characters are in real life !!

purple. 

a comforting color, it gave a soft touch to anything to make it feel safe. 

it was a secure color. 

yedam held his chest, his lavender purple sweater itching slightly as he began to sweat. he didn’t want to look down. 

_not a flower. not flowers._

he was standing in the middle of their hallway, mouth still close to his elbow as he felt the silky petals fall down, cascading down to the wooden floor. mashiho standing at one end with a cup of water that had just crashed down onto the floor. 

“yedam-” mashiho whispered, hands covering his mouth as he realized what happened. walking over and grabbing yedam’s sweating hands, squeezing them tight. “yedam oh my god you-” 

“don’t say it-” yedam cut himself off, eyes watery with tears. 

“i’m sorry yedam.” mashiho realized the helplessness of the situation, wiping yedam’s cheekbone free of tears. yedam shook his head, taking a shivering breath as he looked down. 

heliotrope purple petals. soaked in spit lied on a scattered pile on the floor. 

_(the color was scary, a scary feeling resonated in him)_

yedam heaved, coughing more flowers past his lips and onto the floor as he began to cry, falling onto the ground in tears while mashiho followed him. 

“i told myself this would happen!” yedam sobbed, screaming into the floors while he squeezed the petals between his hands, crushing them into pieces. “why?! why?!” he screamed, throat aching as mashiho tried to comfort him, “why did this happen- why- i told myself it wouldn’t happen-” yedam cried, letting mashiho guide his head to lay on his shoulder. the elder rubbing the back of his neck.

mashiho stifled his cries, hearing yedam cry out in wretched tears. “who is it yedam?” yedam seemed to stiffen at the question, hands balling into tight fists, curling up on himself, fragile. yedam was in a fragile state that mashiho had never seen before, seemingly on the brink of shattering under one touch. 

“doyoung.” 

_(his voice wavered, regretting saying it as soon as it left his lips)_

_…_

  
  


yedam felt uneasy sitting in the audience, watching the younger at a performance. doyoung was in choir, proudly one of the loudest (in the best way) in the group. his voice was sweet, seemingly the only one yedam could hear. 

his heart began to beat wildly, cheeks rising a crimson as doyoung walked up to the microphone for his solo. his mind drifted to a cold thought, realizing how his state was only going to worsen, this was his last concert he was going to see of his best friend. 

a tear fell down his face, going down his cheek and dripping to his chin. 

a warm hand went to grip around his own, mashiho squeezing it tight as he leaned against his shoulder. both quietly crying as they watched doyoung sing so naturally. 

“i’m going to miss this.” yedam shuddered, holding the flowers in his hand, ready to give to doyoung once the concert finished. purple asters. 

yedam recalls how they met, finding each other looking at stuffed animals in a thrift store. 

_“i saw it first.” the stranger huffed, hand tight on the white fox. “it’s mine.”_

_yedam furrowed his brows, hand tight on the leg as he noticed mothers weird glares at the two arguing over a toy._

_“come on~” yedam whined, looking at the mass of stuffed animals. “there are_ **_so_ ** _many, why can’t i have this one?” yedam gave his best puppy dog eyes._

_the other shook his head, leaning on his right leg as he raised his eyebrows. “nope.” he said with a small smirk._

_yedam pouted, tired of arguing with the other across from him. he sadly dropped the leg, walking away from the stranger. his eyes then caught a bunny, fur soft and fluffy. beady eyes looking at him seemingly screaming_ **_pick me! pick me!_ **

_“you should get it.” the stranger said curtly, holding the fox close to his chest._

_“yeah?”_

_“it looks like me.” the stranger smiled, holding his hand out, “doyoung.”_

_yedam shaked his hand, smiling softly. “yedam.”_

_yedam grabbed the bunny, smiling fondly. it did look like doyoung._

_(.99 cents, such a cheap price for an irreplaceable thing)_

yedam pulled his hearing back to doyoung, watching his solo fade out to the end of the song. the soft decrescendo leaving a resonating feeling within the auditorium. yedam felt more tears stream down like a rainstorm, cascading down as the standing ovation occurred around him, swiftly standing and clapping till his hands turned red. 

doyoung smiled bright, meeting eyes with yedam in the crowd before he bowed. leading the choir offstage. out of thirty-two students, doyoung still shined brighter than the rest. yedam sat back down and tucked his head between his knees, crying painfully as mashiho comforted him. 

“what is wrong yedam?” jihoon asked, eyes wide with concern. yedam looked up, wiping his tears as people filed out around him. yedam bit his lips painfully, standing up and running a hand through his hair. 

“that was my last concert i am going to see.” yedam pushed past everyone, rushing out of the carpeted auditorium and trekking to the bathroom, hearing jihoon call out his name behind him. footsteps fast behind him. 

“yedam! what do you mean?’ jihoon asked, “your last concert?” yedam folded his arms, feeling his chest get tight. “what do you mean?” he asked louder, grabbing yedam’s shoulder to make him face the elder. 

“i have hanahaki.” yedam whispered, taking a laboured breath as he watched the shock settle in. “i love doyoung.” 

jihoon froze up, mouth agape while he numbly stood against the brick wall. 

“i’ve had it for a month, it won’t be long till ‘m gone.” yedam’s voice began to wobble, looking upwards and exhaling slowly to try and stall the tears. looking at the asters in his hands. 

“if i tell doyoung, he won’t ever forgive himself, i want him to be happy, it’s all i’ve ever wanted.” yedam whispered, “i’m not telling him.” swiftly he put a large smile on, eyes behind jihoon. 

doyoung ran over, hugging yedam in a tight hug.  
  
“you did amazing!” yedam smiled, bright and cheery. wrapping his arms around doyoung. 

“were you crying? my singing was that emotional?” doyoung joked, taking notice of yedam’s red puffy eyes. 

“yeah, it was so beautiful doyoung, it was the most beautiful song i have ever heard.” yedam smiled, handing the younger the asters. watching his eyes light up like stars with a beautiful glow.

“thank you.” doyoung smelled the sweet flowers and leaned in to hug him again. jihoon still stood with tearful eyes, not quite meeting eyes with yedam. 

…

“how long?” doyoung whispered, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed as yedam wheezed, a bucket of purple flower petals beside the two. 

“three months.”

“would you ever tell me?” doyoung asked, squeezing his hand. 

“i wanted you to be happy, it’s all i want.” yedam smiled, not quite meeting his eyes. he was so weak, tired, and in pain. 

“how can i be happy if you're gone? you’re my best friend.” doyoung laboured, leaning down to sob into his hands, “i don’t want you to go.” doyoung whispered. 

“i will be okay dobi.” yedam made pitiful attempts to calm the younger. “you will be okay.” 

doyoung lied beside yedam, holding back tears behind closed eyes. 

“do you remember when we had that sleepover together, and your cat kept stealing our popcorn?” yedam smiled, laughing at the distant memory. “or when you kept beating me at ‘go fish’ so you just let me win? that was nice. thank you.”

doyoung laughed pitifully, smiling at his friend. “hey doyoung?” 

“yeah yedam?” 

“can you do one thing for me?”

“anything.”

“sing for me please. i want to remember what your voice sounds like.” yedam whispered, clinging to doyoung weakly. 

“of course.” doyoung had the gut feeling he was the one who yedam loved, trying to ignore the everlasting guilt residing inside him .

yedam took a deep breath, listening to the sweet song come out of doyoung’s cracking voice. hearing doyoung cry as he attempted to sing. yedam clinged to these last moments, relishing in the warm feeling he felt. 

“thank you.” yedam whispered, “i love you doyoung.” 

doyoung sputtered a cry, looking at yedam sadly, “i love you too yedam.”

_(and always will)_

…

“hi yedam.” doyoung whispered, holding a soft fox plush on his bed, whispering warmly to it in the dead of night. “i am sorry i haven’t talked to you in a while, still just trying to adjust.” doyoung eyed the dead aster flowers on his window sill, not having the heart to throw them out. 

“i hope you aren’t suffering. i started to talk with mashiho about it all, he has been a big help.” doyoung squeezed the foxes paw trying to imitate the warm feeling of holding each other's hands. 

“your mom gave me the bunny plush, i keep this one next to the bunny all the time, like we are together,” doyoung began to tear up, holding the plush to his face. letting his tears drop onto the plush. 

“i hope you can hear this, i don’t want to be speaking to nobody.” he paused, feeling an itch in his throat. “i am trying to be happy like you said, it is just hard. you made me so happy.” 

doyoung stood up, walking around his empty room, “i think at my last concert you were crying cause it was your last right?” doyoung hiccupped, wiping his eyes. 

doyoung sat on the ground, sobbing into the fox plush, chest heaving and rising. “i’m sorry yedam. i’m so sorry.” doyoung let out all of his held back emotion, writhing on the floor in agony at the sudden wave of emotion. 

“why did you have to go?” he sobbed into the plush, begging for a response. “please answer why did you have to go?” he was struggling to get air, lungs tightening up as he realized the burning itch in his throat.

he coughed, hard, feeling something rise and fall out of his mouth. shaking as he realized what they were. 

purple aster petals. 

_(i’m sorry it took so long to realize i loved you)_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, i really hope you enjoyed.
> 
> if you wanna check it out i made a twitter :D   
> @blueberriemin_


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